“thank u, next”: What it means to move on from messy relationships

Deanna Thoma

By Deanna Thoma

Thanks to Ariana Grande and her newest single “thank u, next,” everyone is feeling the emotions of heartbreak, and for what? People don’t realize that this isn’t a breakup anthem, it’s about the value of moving on from relationships.

The lyrics of her song even say it: “One taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain,” and with all of these statements she sings, “Now I’m so amazing.” She’s showing that she used all of these experiences, good and bad, to better herself. Heartbreak is inevitable, and I will be the first to tell you that; however, you always move past it and learn. My philosophy is that everyone is put in your life to teach you something. You can learn from anyone, whether it be an ex, a friend, or a teacher.

From personal experience, I can say breakups suck, but it definitely isn’t what you see in the movies. For me there weren’t any tubs of ice cream, being surrounded by tissues, or tearing up love letters. It was more of crying for a day or two, but then realizing that there are so many better things in life than some girl or boy.

All last year I was so wrapped up in my relationship, and changing myself for the person I was with to make them stay. Not only did I waste nine months of my life in a mentally exhausting relationship, but I lost a sense of who I was. I didn’t want to break up with this person because I was scared of hurting him when in reality I was just hurting myself. Once he broke up with me, I cried, not just because an important part of my life was gone, but also out of a sense of relief that this relationship that was unhealthy for me was finally over.

I’ll tell you a secret: Your personal identity shouldn’t be based off a relationship.

The thing about most relationships in life is that they are temporary, so your happiness shouldn’t come from another person. The most beautiful relationships, in my opinion, are when two individuals can come together but still have their own lives. That creates a barricade for heartbreak because you aren’t relying on someone else for your quality of life.

Even though breakups may seem completely negative, the best way to get over them is to find the positive hidden within. That sounds cliché, I know. It isn’t easy to find. I know that for a fact. But at the end of the day, heartbreak is only a temporary feeling. So when someone breaks up with you, cry for a little bit, learn from it, bounce back, and say, “thank you, next.”