Bachelor for dummies No. 2


By Dylan Stanford and Avery Goodstine

D: Alright so I’m mega excited to see how the group date will continue because last episode really ended with a cliffhanger. Like cmon, I wanna know what happens with Peter and Hannah! I mean, after all, Peter is literally ignoring all the girls he took on a group date to talk to his ex lol. Something good should at least come out of it.                                                                              A: I’m so tired of all this Hannah drama to be honest. And Peter needs to give the other girls the chance they deserve. This is really getting on my freaking nerves man. Also this is giving me some doubts about Peter too tbh. D: But oh would you look at that… nothing good came out of it. I wish I could say I’m surprised… And Peter really has the audacity to cancel the group date until the after-party. Is he serious? I get that seeing Hannah made him emotional, but he is really treating these girls like poo poo.                                                                                                                                                    A: I am so mad!! WHAT THE HECK PETER!!!! This is some bs. He doesn’t even know these girls yet and now he won’t even give them the time of day. Wow, Peter is really rubbing me the wrong way. He needs to grow a pair and get over Hannah. D: I mean seriously? They’re really gonna try and play the game of “who actually rejected the other?” I thought that they were adults… A: Pathetic is what it is, and that’s all I have to say on that. D: But like whatever it’s FINE. We’ll just have to wait and see how the girls respond when they come back for the party.

A: Oh you know they are going to be so freaking mad. I mean just think about that. He just stood up a who group of girls. Honestly, Hannah is pretty and all, but like she is so last season. I totally understand why they are so upset. 

D: LMAOOO these girls are PISSED. I mean on one hand, I don’t blame them because I would be upset if my boyfriend spent all his time with his ex on our date… on the other hand though, just LET IT GO. No one really wanted to hear them talk about their nasty moments anyway…

A: What Hannah did for the date was a SNAKE move. Like are you kidding me!?!?! She was OBVIOUSLY using that as an excuse just to brag about how many times they slept together. That was a petty move on her part. Unexceptable. I get why the girls are mad, but for real, how do they expect to get Peter if they never shut up about Hannah???

D: GIRL. Just talk to him about it once, let him say what he needs to say, and then stop bringing it up. Like, that Lauren girl?? Shut up girl. Please just give us all a break. 

A: She is a-nnoy-ing. I’m tired of hearing her blab her mouth. Just be quiet and make him forget about Hannah, don’t keep talking about it, are you dumb?? 

D: Bruh… it’s getting a little hot in here. Is it just me? Peter is getting steamy with these girls lol I can already tell that this is going to backfire for him. 

A: I told you that he was getting on my bad side in the last episode!! Something is up with him. His vibes are really throwing me off. Let’s see who gets this rose…

D: AW, I was honestly kind of hoping that Syndney got the group-date rose: she deserved it. But i can see why Mykenna is mad though lol. Imagine being kissed like THAT and then not getting a rose?? Smh.

A: He is all over all the girls man. He’s playing dirty, I see him. This rose ceremony should interesting… 

D: Ayyee, it’s time for the cocktail party! I am READY for all this drama to unfold.

A: LET”S GO! Unleash the drama.

D: Omg… Poor Lexi. Peter doesn’t remember her lmaooo. AND HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE AN EXCUSE. She really had to do the thing “Red hair. Red Car.” And then he responded by just making out with her. Classic Peter.

A: Something is up with him. He really needs to get his head in the right place. I think he is still thinking about Hannah so he is trying to make up for it by making out with everything he can out his lips on. 

D: Dude, wtf just happened. Did Kelsey really just blame Mykenna for wanting to go talk to Peter? Like honey, no one cares about your little champagne setup. If it was really that important, she would actually assert herself and steal Peter before Mykenna did. Has she really never watched the show and figured out that that’s how The Bachelor works. 

A: Kelsey is so dramatic. You have to make a move if you want to be noticed, that’s just how the show works man. Hate the game, not the player. She just needs to man up and go after him if she really wants him. 

D: FINALLY! Hannah Ann and Peter discovered Kelsey’s champagne setup and used it… Not gonna lie, I knew this was gonna happen. Can’t say I’m mad though, because Kelsey kind of brought this on herself. 

A: She really thought that no one was going to use a bottle of champagne that was laid out all nice and stuff, seriously Kelsey needs to get her act together. She got so defensive so quick. 

D: Why is Kelsey just straight up accusing Hannah Ann and not listening to her at all. I mean like, what does she expect? Kelsey is calling her horrible names and then expects an apology and sincerity? Lmao, no. Sorry girl. But if I was in Hannah Ann’s position, I wouldn’t apologize either if I was treated that way.

A: I feel so bad for Hannah Ann!!! I love her and she feels so bad for using it. I know that she did it on accident, there is no way she would sabotage Kelsey like that. And Kelsey is being so mean to her without even listening to what she has to say?? All she is doing is yelling at Hannah Ann.

D: YOOOO GO HANNAH ANN. She really just jumped in and did a toast when Kelsey refused. She’s baaaaad. 

A: I LOVE HER. I want her to be one of the last ngl. 

D: Ok ok. It’s the next morning, and it’s time for the group date. I’m very much ready to see what Peter has planned for these girls. Hopefully this time it isn’t making the girls wait while he lets his ex sit on his lap. 

A: It better be something really good to make up for what happened on the last group date. I have big expectations for this one and I will be upset if he doesn’t follow through. These girls deserve so much more than what he has given them so far.                                                                               D: DUDE. IS HE REALLY TAKING THEM TO REVOLVE?

A: THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! Wow they really get to do a fashion show and win the entire Revolve line, this is what they needed. Dang I’m kinda mad though, that is such a good date. There has been nothing like this before.

D: Not gonna lie, I feel really bad for Victoria F. While it is important for the girls to kind of step out of their comfort zone, it is really hard to do that kind of stuff when it comes to something like a fashion show. Like imagine having to fight with those insecurities your whole life and then suddenly having to do something that just shows off your body.

A: Yeah I get that but also, you have to be prepared for this kind of stuff when you come on the show. It’s all about showing off and being over the top and being confident. She should have known. 

D: At the same time though, THIS IS THE BACHELOR. What the heck did she expect? That she wouldn’t have to basically compete for attention and show off her body? Lol, please. Sometimes you just gotta hoe it out…

A: She should really be taking this as an opportunity to show off and be confident. This is the best time to show Peter what you can do. 

D: Oh, well. She got the group rose. I can’t tell how I feel about it. I love her because I can kind of relate and she’s from VB, but she doesn’t really have anything else to say other than, “I can’t do this” or “I’m just not cut out for the show.” 

A: I just really get the vibes that she had no idea what she was getting herself into. I feel like she was just like, “Oh yeah, this seems fun” and just did it without knowing what it was really about.

D: Oh yikes… The champagne scandal is being brought up again. C’mon Peter. I thought this was over? Why ask Kelsey about the whole thing when she just said that this is the first day that she hasn’t cried… And I mean, of course, Kelsey is going to claim that she didn’t do anything wrong. Is Peter dumb?

A: I think he is. He doesn’t know what he is doing. He doesn’t know how to deal with this drama. He can’t make up his mind about anything on his own.

D: I just hope that by the next episode, this champagne thing is over. The whole thing was stupid and Kelsey was just straight up over-dramatic. 

A: Yeah, this is old drama, I’m ready for something new. Also, Peter needs to figure out what the heck he wants instead of using this as a way to make out with all these girls, like come one, he’s here to find a wife, not lock lips with half the country.