Bachelor for dummies No. 7


Dylan Stanford, Avery Stanford, Staff Writer

A: Okie dokie, here we go, and we are headed to Peru this week! I’m still exhausted from last week’s episodes. Let’s just hope this week is more about the girls and less about the D.R.A.M.A.

D: Yeah I mean, practically all the girls who were causing drama last episode are done, so there BETTER not be anything big again. 

A: That BANDAGE on his forehead is killing me man, OML. LOL.

D: BRO SAME. But that new scar on his forehead… Kinda attractive if you ask me. 

A: Ok, can I just say I am very happy with the girls are still here at this point. Not mad at all.

D: I am too. The only exception is Natasha. I’m really confused on why she is still here and how she lasted this long. I swear I have never seen her and Peter talk before. 

A: AWE YAY MADISON GOT THE ONE-ON-ONE. I’m so happy for her, they haven’t had a date in so long! 

D: YES I KNOW!!! I really want to see if they still have the chemistry that they had from night one.

A: Oh, ok Peter, I see you grabbing all up on her, okaayyy!!!

D: Hehe… In that case, they DEFINITELY still have that chemistry. Maybe a little too much for her though.

A: Welp, there it is, I’m gonna go ahead and take a wild guess that she’s saving herself for marriage. 

D: Dude, I knew from night one, when they showed the preview of someone claiming that they were saving herself for marriage, that it would be her. It was clear as soon as she started talking about how serious her faith was. And it is definitely a little worrying because does she not know what happened between Hannah Brown and Peter last season? And does she not know about fantasy suites? Anyways… That’s a problem for the next few episodes. 

A: I’m happy that Natasha got the next one-on-one date with Peter. I feel like she really hasn’t gotten a lot of time with him compared to the other girls and she seems really mature.

D: Me too. If I were her, I would have been so hurt if all the other girls got TWO one-on-ones and I didn’t get any. Ok, but cutting back to the one-on-one with Madison… 

A: Wow, she just said a lot in a very short amount of time. I’m not really sure if Peter is on the same page as her with the whole faith thing though.

D: I feel kind of bad for her. I can tell that Peter does care about his faith, but it is OBVIOUS that it isn’t as important to him as he is making it out to be. He just needs to be honest with her, otherwise he is giving her false hope. But who knows, maybe he is open to trying to strengthen his faith. 

A: WOAH, WAIT A DARN MINUTE. He really just said he is falling in love with Madison???? There are still like 4 or 5 other girls back at the house. Um, he better be careful unless he wants to be another Arie… no one wants that. Yikes.

D: LOL LITERALLY. And Madison didn’t even say she was falling in love back. Oops… I can’t tell if that was intentional or not.

A: Man, Natasha and Peter look like they are just straight vibing, man. I have a feeling she won’t be staying though 🙁

D: Me too… They seem to have really good conversations and have fun together, but I feel like that is all it is. Peter waited too long to try and get to know her.

A: Oh man, he friendzoned her. Oof that really sucks man, can’t say I didn’t see it coming though. I think she kinda saw it coming too though. Honestly, I don’t know why she stuck around for this long, I mean she JUST got a one-on-one and hometowns are next week.

D: That would hurt bro, but she should have expected it. They have barely had any time together, and their hometown is next week so how did she expect she was going to get their relationship at a level where he would be ready to meet her family. It just seems really far-fetched. 

A: Um, I just realized how botched Kelsey’s nose job looks…how did I not see this before. She is still cute though so I guess it’s fine.

D: BROOO STRAIGHT UP I’VE BEEN THINKING THAT THE ENTIRE TIME. It just seems really angular. I mean, it kind of fits her face though I think. Whatever. Apparently Hannah Ann had a… chest surgery if you know what I mean.

A: Alright, Kelsey does cry a lot. I mean, she just cries in front of the camera because she thinks that talking about her family will be hard???

D: Ok but, I am kind of empathetic to that. I don’t think that she necessarily cries on purpose, I just think it comes out when she’s even the slightest bit emotional or scared. I mean, I have overactive tear ducts too…so. AND, her family life is hard. 

A: Ok, um, Kelley kind of is turning into a meany? What is her problem, she literally did not care about Peter until she went on a date with him??? 

D: I know, right? Last episode all she could talk about was how she was there to have fun, and now all of the sudden she is super serious and wants to stay? Like, uh ok. Kinda sus.

A: You know what pisses me off? I’m sick of everyone saying that Hannah Ann deserves to go home because she is “too young” so she isn’t ready to be in a relationship with Peter. That makes me so upset because no one else knows if she is ready except for her and it’s so unfair that people still think they can judge another person based on their age. I know a lot of 18 year olds who are less mature than my 13 year old sister, and that’s the tea. 

D: I mean, yeah but at the same time, what about the relationship that she said she was in? Three and a half years is a long time to be dating someone you aren’t in love with… That makes me worry about her and Peter’s relationship, and maybe if she was a little older she would have more experience.

A: I would feel SO AWKWARD if I was on a three-on-one date. Man that has gotta be so weird, I would not know what to do.  

D: I don’t know what Peter is expecting to get out of this lol. It is just gonna be awkward and it is going to be the girls all trying to outdo each other. 

A: AWE. Dude, Hannah Ann wrote Peter a list of all the reasons why she is falling for him?!?!?! That is SO FREAKING CUTE WTH.

D: BRO WHATTTT. I would literally die if someone did that for me. Like, bruh. My eyes be tearing up a little bit. 

A: Kelley is wack. She was JUST saying last week that she just wanted to have to have fun and she didn’t care what happened with Peter. Now she is obsessed with getting a rose and thinks she is the best match for Peter? Yeah, ok, sure.

D: She annoys me. PERIOD. I feel like she is incredibly fake and is just now trying to show that she cares because she is threatened with going home. 

A: Victoria needs to go. Period. No cap. I’m done with her. All she does is whine and complain and she’s a baby.

D: Seriously.. Like to a certain extent I could handle her being sad and in her feels. But at this point, so far into the show, she needs to stop. 

A: Ok, now Kelsey is using her job as a reason to get a rose?!?! HAH wow she’s turned into a completely different person. She thinks she’s all high and mighty, now I really want to see her go home because she’s being so freaking cocky all of a sudden when she didn’t even care last week!!!!! 

D: Bro, what did I say? This three-on-one date is literally just the girls trying to out-do each other and say whatever they need to say to not get home. Honestly, I just think I’m going to stop judging because all of them are acting immature. Maybe it’s just the situation that is bringing out the worst in them… Hopefully. I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here. 

A: OH BOOYAH WHAT DID I SAY. That’s right Peter. Send Kelley  home, where she belongs. OH she’s going to rewatch this and feel so stupid because she was so confident she would get a rose. Haha, I told you so. 

D: GOOD. Out of all of them, she was the one I thought deserved to go home. 

A: And now she’s saying that he was the one wasting her time. Wow, she really turned into a little brat didn’t she.

D: LOL REALLY. How the turn-tables… 

A: Well I am very happy with the 4 girls he is going on hometowns with! But from the sneak peaks of next week’s episode, the drama is nowhere near over yet. Juicy, juicy…

D: Bro me too. I really wanna see all the things that get exposed next week.