Think Twice: Spring sneeze

Think Twice: Spring sneeze

Jana Isern, Staff Writer


So I think it’s safe to say that spring is here. With that comes pretty flowers which bring a ridiculous amount of pollen which leads to a monstrous allergic reaction. And while I have spent these past two weeks literally drowning in my own snot, the little birdies have been chirping all around singing their hearts out.  

Last week I swear I thought I was going to die. I have never in my life had seasonal allergies. I thought I would be one of those people who are just immune to seasonal change. Charging through life completely unaffected by the spring flowers blooming.

Instead, I am pathetically dragging myself everywhere, sneezing loudly like a caveman to the point where no one bothers with saying “bless you” anymore. 

I do not like it. I’m not used to it. 

When I was a little kid, I had colds seemingly all the time, and I was that little girl constantly blowing her nose or breathing with her mouth open. But over time it went away and I didn’t have to worry about keeping Kleenex nearby every waking second… 

Fast-forward to now…I am panicking when I can’t feel a wad of tissue in my back pocket.

The number of trees that have been cut down just through my use of tissues is astronomical. Oh, and by the way, they contain soothing aloe and vitamin E lotion. At first, I thought it was a little excessive but thank the universe I found these fancy tissues first because otherwise, my nose would be peeling off by now! 

The last two weeks have been hell. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I was driving and all of a sudden snot started trickling down my nose faster than a Formula 1 racer. I’m a new driver so I was terrified to let go of the wheel even for a second. There were no traffic lights anywhere so I just kept driving, literally drowning in my snot and all I could think was “Why me?”

I know, it’s a disgusting image, but hey. That is my reality.

And since I have been sitting at home blowing my nose for these past two weeks I thought I would share some of the most interesting/weird home remedies I found for curing allergies. (Disclaimer: the most effective is gulping down a Zyrtec pill and calling it a day) 

1. Acupuncture—Don’t ask me. Needles in my face??? 

2. Cranking up your car’s air conditioner—I feel like this might cure allergies, but will leave you with a massive cold. Pick your poison I guess.  

3. Rest and relax—Yeah right! Try lying down in bed with a nose that is somehow blocked and runny at the same time. 

4. Saltwater—I thought this was to drink when I first saw it as a cure, but apparently you use the water to rinse your nose. It works pretty well!

5. Inhale steam—The easiest way is to take a very hot shower. I tried to put my head over the cooking pasta and it did not go well. (I did NOT drip into the pasta.)

So this has been my life for the past two weeks, but I think I’m getting better at co-living with this monster. I love spring but in a perfect world can we maybe make the flowers just as pretty but with no pollen?

My nose would appreciate it.