I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling exhausted. These past few weeks have been an absolute nightmare. I knew that the third quarter was supposed to be crammed with more work than usual, but I did not expect it to be so bad. I am not sure I have slept in days. My brain is filled with jargon that makes no sense anymore, and the more I think about how my thoughts don’t make sense the more my head hurts. It’s the same feeling as when you start repeating a word over and over until it makes no sense.

Carrot, carrot, carrot, carrot…no way that is a word.

As an IB junior I know I am not the only one when I say that this is not what I signed up for. I have been warned so many times about how IB is exhausting, demanding and excruciating. I didn’t believe anything that I was told, but wow, am I changing my mind now!

I know I chose to attend this program and I know that I can complain as much as I want, but I am not leaving until I get that flimsy piece of paper with my diploma. I’m in far too deep to turn back now.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we have had this conversation many times and the thought we always end up with is, “Will it be worth it?”

Yes.

At least that’s what we always say. Maybe to convince ourselves that we are not doing all this for nothing or maybe to help ourselves push through a little bit longer.

The real question comes with, “When will it be worth it?”

*When I get a piece of paper with a fancy signature.
*When I go to that top-tier college (assuming I have enough money).
*Or maybe when I start working full time and I am reminded of the long nights in front of a computer screen.

Maybe when I start cashing in those high six-figure checks. Although as a journalist…we’ll see how that goes. (Hey…Christiane Amanpour makes $5 million a year. A girl can dream!)

What I am trying to say is that maybe it won’t be worth it in the end, and actually it probably won’t. Maybe at most I’ll have a slight advantage over everyone else. Maybe I’ll know more facts or how to work better under pressure, but really not much will be different.

The truth is that these two IB years are not going to shape the rest of my life. A lot can change and a lot will change. Maybe I will become so successful that I’ll have a house on every continent just to keep my finances balanced. Or maybe I’ll still be living in my parents’ basement until the sad old age of 35. (I am hoping and crossing my fingers on that first option).

Either way what will be worth it are the little tips and skills I’ve learned to help me survive the suffocating feeling that is IB. Oh, and of course, I’ll be able to very eloquently connect any global issue thrown my way to an IB topic theme.

It will be worth it.

Just the fact that I am feeling burned out is a sign that I am doing something right. I mean, just think about how stimulated my mind is right now, so much that it’s turned into mush.

Floopy.

That’s what I call it.

I am feeling floopy and I think we’re all feeling floopy. So let’s get through this week and let’s enjoy a long spring break, hopefully without worries and anxiety and we can deal with the rest later.

I know as soon as the bell rings on Friday, school will be my very last priority.